ZOSIMO T. LITERATUS, RMTSex is one intimate activity that reflects a lot the health and the stability of a heterosexual relationship. In fact, oftentimes, it can be used as indicator if the relationship is doing well or not. The reason for this is communication.
A loving relationship thrives and grows through good and effective communication. Needless to say, bad communication can potentially, and has been known to, destroy a relationship. The same is true with sexual interaction, or euphemistically speaking, “making love.”
The current study of Daniel M. Purnine and Michael P. Carey of the Syracuse University in Syracuse, New York, tried to test male and female sexual satisfaction (or, as they called “sexual adjustment”) against the factors of understanding and agreement. That is, understanding the opposite’s preferences; and deriving an agreement on which sexual activities and behaviors to use and pursue together.
Understanding, according to Purnine and Carey, “allows one to know how to satisfy the partner. This perspective places emphasis on specific practices that lead to the partner’s physical gratification (arousal, orgasm).”
Agreement, the researchers noted, “functions in a fairly straightforward manner. If both partners prefer the same sexual behaviors, it is more likely that sexual interactions will take place according to what is mutually acceptable and desirable… Sexual interactions that are particularly satisfying, for whatever reason, might reinforce specific behaviors, rendering them “preferred” by both partners.” It is still however unclear if satisfaction can bring greater agreement over time, or simply a beginner’s luck.
There are important findings from the Purnine-Carey study that is worth noting.
FEMALE SEXUAL SATISFACTION REQUIRES AGREEMENT AND UNDERSTANDING
A loving relationship thrives and grows through good and effective communication. Needless to say, bad communication can potentially, and has been known to, destroy a relationship. The same is true with sexual interaction, or euphemistically speaking, “making love.”
The current study of Daniel M. Purnine and Michael P. Carey of the Syracuse University in Syracuse, New York, tried to test male and female sexual satisfaction (or, as they called “sexual adjustment”) against the factors of understanding and agreement. That is, understanding the opposite’s preferences; and deriving an agreement on which sexual activities and behaviors to use and pursue together.
Understanding, according to Purnine and Carey, “allows one to know how to satisfy the partner. This perspective places emphasis on specific practices that lead to the partner’s physical gratification (arousal, orgasm).”
Agreement, the researchers noted, “functions in a fairly straightforward manner. If both partners prefer the same sexual behaviors, it is more likely that sexual interactions will take place according to what is mutually acceptable and desirable… Sexual interactions that are particularly satisfying, for whatever reason, might reinforce specific behaviors, rendering them “preferred” by both partners.” It is still however unclear if satisfaction can bring greater agreement over time, or simply a beginner’s luck.
There are important findings from the Purnine-Carey study that is worth noting.
FEMALE SEXUAL SATISFACTION REQUIRES AGREEMENT AND UNDERSTANDING
The study observed that women can be sexually satisfied only when the couple has agreed on what satisfactory behavior and activities to do together and when men understand women’s preferences for romantic foreplay. Women’s sexual satisfaction is brought about by high levels of men’s understanding, female relationship adjustment, and the woman’s preferences toward romantic foreplay.
MALE SEXUAL SATISFACTION NEEDS FEMALE SEXUAL SATISFACTION
One fascinating finding in the study is that male sexual satisfaction is not the result of women’s understanding of his preferences. Men got satisfaction from his better relationship with women, her satisfaction of his romantic foreplay, and her lack of education.
“Essentially,” explains Purnine, “men’s sexuality is based more on performance or pleasing their partners, less on their being effectively stimulated. If so there would be less need of sexual understanding by their partners.”
Giving stimulation is central to men’s satisfaction as securing it central to women’s. Male sexual functioning depends less on his partner’s behavior because his arousal and orgasm are less interpersonally dependent to women. This explains the fact why men report more frequent masturbation as well as higher rates of orgasm when controlling his rate of masturbation (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael & Michaels, 1994).
AGREEMENT RESULTS FROM FEMALE SEXUAL DIFFICULTIES
Unlike men who do not open voice out their sexual difficulties to women, women tend to demand for men’s understanding on her sexual preferences. Once the issue was on the table, resolution through a mutually arrived agreement becomes inevitable. That brings sexual adjustment for women, if not for the men. However, this is not often the case in incompatibility situations.
“Mismatch” or “incompatibility” occurs when sexual partners could not interact harmoniously to the satisfaction of either. It can happen at the onset of the relationship or later on, with life’s changes happening—such as illness, aging, career, or the arrival of children—which put pressure on the previously agreed ways. While this situation can be resolved with compromises and going for what are acceptable to both, at times this may not be possible to do. The preferences of a partner can be starkly unacceptable to the other to such a point that even one understands these; he or she is not capable of doing them.
For a man, satisfying his woman sexually begins with understand what sexual activities she prefers to do with his man and establishing a clear understanding and agreement that only these activities would be done during the sexual interaction.
For a woman, she can satisfy her man sexually simply by showing him that he satisfies her sexually, and by nourishing that relationship with him.
Now, you should assail the assumption that women are sexually subordinate to men. In real life, often they are not.
MALE SEXUAL SATISFACTION NEEDS FEMALE SEXUAL SATISFACTION
One fascinating finding in the study is that male sexual satisfaction is not the result of women’s understanding of his preferences. Men got satisfaction from his better relationship with women, her satisfaction of his romantic foreplay, and her lack of education.
“Essentially,” explains Purnine, “men’s sexuality is based more on performance or pleasing their partners, less on their being effectively stimulated. If so there would be less need of sexual understanding by their partners.”
Giving stimulation is central to men’s satisfaction as securing it central to women’s. Male sexual functioning depends less on his partner’s behavior because his arousal and orgasm are less interpersonally dependent to women. This explains the fact why men report more frequent masturbation as well as higher rates of orgasm when controlling his rate of masturbation (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael & Michaels, 1994).
AGREEMENT RESULTS FROM FEMALE SEXUAL DIFFICULTIES
Unlike men who do not open voice out their sexual difficulties to women, women tend to demand for men’s understanding on her sexual preferences. Once the issue was on the table, resolution through a mutually arrived agreement becomes inevitable. That brings sexual adjustment for women, if not for the men. However, this is not often the case in incompatibility situations.
“Mismatch” or “incompatibility” occurs when sexual partners could not interact harmoniously to the satisfaction of either. It can happen at the onset of the relationship or later on, with life’s changes happening—such as illness, aging, career, or the arrival of children—which put pressure on the previously agreed ways. While this situation can be resolved with compromises and going for what are acceptable to both, at times this may not be possible to do. The preferences of a partner can be starkly unacceptable to the other to such a point that even one understands these; he or she is not capable of doing them.
For a man, satisfying his woman sexually begins with understand what sexual activities she prefers to do with his man and establishing a clear understanding and agreement that only these activities would be done during the sexual interaction.
For a woman, she can satisfy her man sexually simply by showing him that he satisfies her sexually, and by nourishing that relationship with him.
Now, you should assail the assumption that women are sexually subordinate to men. In real life, often they are not.
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